One Day At A Time
by wolfwynd
Summary: Willow's struggle to get over the death of Tara with the help of her best friend


One Day At A Time

Name: Laura Isaac

E-mail: laura_isaac@hotmail.com

Rating: G (for major angst/character death)

Distribution: Anyone who wants it, but please tell me where you put it so my ego can be massaged!

Disclaimer: I own none of these character, they belong to Joss (god), 20th Century Fox and Mutant Enemy "grr arrgghh!!"

Summary: Willow's struggle to get over the death of Tara with the help of her best friend

Willow sat against the cupboard, knees drawn up to her, rocking silently back and forth, she had lost her. Lost her light, the centre of her universe, her reason for living, her Tara. She had tried everything to get her back, she had given up magic cold - turkey to try and win her love, her trust. 1,165 magic - free days, 1,165 Tara free days, 1,165 Tara free nights. The black magic had clawed inside her, threatening to push her over the edge but she had resisted, sleepness nights and hazy days aside she had resisted. Resisted the pain and suffering that going back to Rack would have caused to her family, and more importantly her girlfriend.

She could remeber everything, she saw the bullet smash the window and enter Tara's beautiful body, saw the blood, heard her last words and felt the lifeless body of her lover fall into her arms. Confusion, pain and anger filled her head as she cradled her girlfriend in her arms and willing her to wake up. If only she had been the one in front of the window, she would have gladly have given her life for Tara's. The day they had spent together before hand was just like old times they had spent it making love, tenderly and meaningfully as they had all the times before. When they woke up together that morning she thought she was in heaven but then it had all gone wrong, disastorastly wrong.

Suddenly Willow was aware of a presence in the room, through tear stained eyes she turned and saw Xander standing there. His eyes were red as if he too had been crying, he walked over silently and slowly sat down beside Willow. She owed him alot, he was the one that had brought her back from the edge of insanity with three simple words "I Love You." She thought that everything was lost when Tara had died. She had loved her more than anything in this world and there was a gap that no - one else could fill. The pain that she was going through when she was having withdrawal cravings from the black magic was nothing compared to the pain she was feeling now, raw agonsing pain that wouldn't go away now matter how hard she cried or how hard she wished it wasn't there, there was this hole inside her that she had tried so hard to fill up but now it was up to time to do it.

"Willow?" Xander said quietly, tilting his head ever so slightly waiting for a response

"I can't do this Xan" Willow mumbled, tears threatening to spill again

"Do what Wills?" Xander asked, fearful of what the next answer might be

"I can't live without her, I - I mean at least when we were apart there was still a hope that she would come back, that it would be like old times again....but now...." her sentence was cut short as Willow again dissolved into tears, great sobs shook her body.

"It's alright Will, at least you've still got me!" Xander blurted out as he tried to do The Snoopy Dance at twice the normal speed and sitting down. This brought a thin, weak smile to Willow's face but this was again soon replaced by another fit of tears.

"I know....Xan...I know" Willow said quietly "But she was my all, my always, my life, my soul - with her I felt safe, loved"

"You are loved Wills" Xander said as he slowly and carefully gathered her towards him, rocking her gently. He gazed down at this broken woman in his arms, never before had he seen her like this and it hurt him terribly, he had not seen her like this even when Buffy had died the summer before because she still had Tara to confide in, to comfort her. Now it was up to him, up to him to show her not to give up, up to him to show her life is worth living. He had brought her back from the edge once, he was detitmined to bring her back from the edge once again

"One day at a time Wills, one day at a time, I promise you it'll be okay"

"One day at a time" Willow said quietly as she fell into a deep sleep for the first time since Tara died.

Feedback would be appreicated!


End file.
